At 11:00 you're a slut. Tru fax

Wesley got home from his Washington trip around 7:00 pm on a Friday. By 9:30 pm- he was out for the count. We had surprised him with his own room, he had been sharing with his brother since we moved into this house in 2004.

At 10:50 pm I hear the James Bond theme. The voices in my head were pretty adamant that they weren't responsible. It hit me that Wes's ring tone was the James Bond theme and his phone was probably ringing.

We got him a cheap pre-paid cell expressly for the trip to Washington, I wanted to be able to talk to him whenever & vice versa. I didn't think he would take to it like he did but he's pretty sure he's a bad ass with that cell phone in his pocket.

I went and found his phone & hit Ignore so it wouldn't wake him. I also took note of the fact that I didn't recognize the incoming number. Wrong number? Maybe, but then the tone that signals voice mail went off.

Hmm, says I, voice mail? Ususally wrong numbers don't leave messages once they hear the wrong voice on the voice mail. So, being a cautious (read: nosy as shit) person, I listened to the voice mail.

Reminder: He's 11. E. Leven. and should have exactly 0 expectations of privacy from me.

The message is from some girl. ?!. who sounds 12 going on 30 and is as follows

"Hi Wes, it's Kate. I got your text, call me back at this number"

*dies*

Ex. Cuse. Me?

Now it turns out I know this girl's parents and they are really good people. She's a nice girl, not prissy, very friendly with everyone. A good girl.

NOT AT 11:00 AT NIGHT, SHE'S NOT.

For the parent of a boy, 11:00 at night = WHORE.

I (allegedly) checked his outgoing texts to find out they'd been deleted. ORLY? and there were other girls numbers on his cell phone from his trip to D.C.

The next morning when Wes rolled out of bed, I casually questioned him about it. You know, confidentally so as not to embarrass him.

Just kidding, I wore his ass out about it in front of his entire family and a few random strangers at our garage sale that morning.

He insists she's "just a friend. God." and he denied sending her a text. Of course he said it as he was frantically fiddling with his phone, muting it in case it rang again.

I. am. not. ready. I did not authorize any kind of puberty time situation. Also? his cell phone ,literally and with no help from me, died. From shame, probably.